After seeing Ferlin Husky in Hillbillys In A Haunted House, I decided to check out another one of his movies - Swamp Girl. I also got a bonus, since when I got the movie, I found that Claude King (Wolverton Mountain) co-stars with Ferlin in the movie. While neither Ferlin or Claude need ever worry about winning an Oscar, both are as good or better than some of the other actors in Swamp Girl.
The movie begins as Swamp Girl (Simone Griffeth) brings a man into civilization who has been bitten by snakes. When she tosses him onto land, three of the locals who are out for some illegal night fishing hear something and when they go to investigate they discover the man, who unfortunately has already died. A side note about these three locals - they're the worst actors in the movie, one of them must realize this fact because he barely speaks. They're so bad, that anytime they appear in a scene, they make the other actors look better than they probably are. Back to the movie...it's a mystery to everyone how the man got out of the swamp and there's some discussion about how it could have been the legend known as Swamp Girl. This sets up the next scene with Ferlin sitting on the porch of his cabin singing the title song "Swamp Girl".
We find out that Ferlin is the Swamp Ranger and that Claude is the local Sheriff when we find them the next day discussing if there really could be a Swamp Girl. Ferlin sets out in his airboat to see if he can track her down and, of course, he does. While on shore chasing her, Ferlin steps into an animal trap and Swamp Girl has to rescue him. Ferlin gets Swamp Girl to to talk to him and interestingly the conversation is about the traps being illegal and how the Okefenokee Swamp Park is a refuge....a sort of early 70s message of conservation. We get an oddity (actually just badly written dialogue) during the conversation, when Swamp Girl has no trouble with the word "refuge", but doesn't understand the word "deputy".
Ferlin has asked Swamp Girl to talk to her Pa about leaving the swamp and coming back into civilization, which she agrees to do. We then get what I guess was supposed to be a shock (and maybe it was in 1971), when we find that Pa is a black man. Pa says he knew this day was coming and he will have to explain to Swamp Girl how he's not her real father, but actually a man named Nat who has raised her.
HOLD ON because here comes a lot of twisted plot: It seems Nat lived in the swamp with an alcoholic doctor who performed illegal abortions. If a woman came to him too late for an abortion, he would let them stay until they had the baby. If it was a boy, they had to take the child with them when they left, if it was a girl, they could either take it or leave it. If they left the baby girl, the doctor had a deal with some sea-faring men who bought the babies and then re-sold them to Arab Sheiks. Swamp Girl was Nat's favorite and he begged the doctor to keep her around and he did, until she was a pre-teen. Then old doc got greedy and decided to sell her. He knew Nat would resist the idea and sent Nat off to run some errands. The seamen wouldn't pay the double price the doctor wanted for Swamp Girl and they killed the doctor and kidnapped Swamp Girl and placed her in a canvas bag. Nat had gotten suspicious and came back just in time to catch all of this and winds up killing both of the men (there's some bad special effects included at this point). Swamp Girl doesn't remember any of this because when the seamen threw the bag with her in it into the woods, she was bitten through the bag by snakes and the fever from those bites wiped her mind clean.
While Nat has been telling Swamp Girl her story, we cut back to a woman, who with the help of her boyfriend, has escaped from prison. She shot a prison guard during the escape with a double barrel shotgun. The duo decide to go through the swamp to reach the Florida line. I guess I don't have tell you that their paths will intersect with Swamp Girl. First they find the cabin with Nat and the woman uses her other shell to shoot Nat (for some reason they only had the two shells....I guess times were tough! ORmaybe only two shells exist for a plot twist that comes a little later). Once they happen upon Swamp Girl, they force her to lead them through the swamp at the point of their shotgun.
Back in town a couple has arrived and hired the three locals to look for their "little" girl in the swamp. This sounds like they are going to be looking for a young girl, but it's actually the escapee. How they knew she was in the swamp is a mystery to me, but that's how the plot has evolved or devolved. Meanwhile back in the swamp, the escapee's boyfriend has stepped in quicksand and drowned. Next up is a fight between the escapee and Swamp Girl, who has been fully aware that there are no more shells in the shotgun (remember above when I said plot twist)....of course why Swamp Girl had been letting herself be forced to lead them through the swamp is somewhat of a mystery to me....but what the hell, might as well go along with it...anyway... After Swamp Girl and the escapee fight for a while, the escapee is chasing Swamp Girl when she gets caught in a trap and a gator pulls her down into the swamp and eats her as Swamp Girl watches, but does nothing. The locals and the escapee's father arrive and it appears that the father shoots Swamp Girl, but she in actuality has just stumbled. Instead, the Sheriff and Swamp Ranger show up and the father gets shot and as he falls, we have a deadly snake attack.
HOLD ON for another convoluted plot twist: When everyone arrives back in civilization, we find out that Swamp Girl is actually the daughter of the escapee's mother and that that was her sister she watched drown. Swamp Girl goes back into the Swamp to get her mind straight, but promises to return to civilization soon....OR maybe they were just thinking about a sequel!
A couple of final things to mention about the movie that I found strange is the usage of a couple of words. Two different characters, who are both white, in the movie use the exclamation "Holy Mackerel", a phrase generally associated with Amos 'n' Andy, but I'm guessing it had probably entered the general lexicon of Southerners by 1971, when this movie was made. Another strange word in the movie was when Ferlin called the escapee's boyfriend "Bohunk", an ethic slur used for Ukrainian or Eastern Central European immigrants and a term I have never heard used here in The South. I am only familiar with it from some Northerners that I served in the army with who made me aware of the word. Since Ferlin had no way of knowing who the boyfriend was, I sometimes think that maybe he meant to say Boy Friend and just said Bohunk (maybe the word meant something different to Ferlin) OR for all I know it was written into the movie by one of the two writers (thankfully, this is their only credited writing production).
I really thought this movie wouldn't be all that good, but it wound up really entertaining me for 85 minutes. Hillbillys In A Haunted House stars Ferlin Husky as Woody, Don Bowman as Jeepers, and Joi Lansing as Boots. Joi fulfills the part usually played by either Mamie Van Doren or Jayne Mansfield...you know...the doll with platinum hair and the big rack. I'll be referring to them by their real names during this review, because it's easier on my brain.
The movie starts with Ferlin Husky, Don Bowman, and Joi Lansing driving down the road singing their way to Nashville, where they're going to be part of a big Country Music Jamboree. They have to stop the car, since police are having a shootout with some spies. AHH....The Good Old Days, when Police and Spies had shootouts and you could just stop your car to watch.... Shucks! I bet if you had a gun you could probably join in! The police tell the trio that there are spies all through the surrounding areas because of a missile base that the government built nearby.
The trio travels along their merry way, but Don is so stressed out that Ferlin and Joi tell him they'll take a night off and stay somewhere so he can unwind. They drive into a nearly deserted town and find that everyone has moved closer to the government base, but a gas station attendant tells them they can stay in the old Beauregard Mansion. After they drive off, the attendant remembers he forgot to tell them the mansion is haunted. Oh, Well! if he HAD told them, they might have driven on and we wouldn't be able to get a bunch of Hillbillys in a haunted house and then of course the producers would have had to come up with a different name for the movie and why waste a perfectly good title.
After arriving at the Beauregard Mansion, they find the electricity is working, which is pretty sweet for an abandoned property. Plus the electricity will come in handy later, since the trio travels with their own portable TV, which seemed strange to me, but since it plays into part of the plot later, I guess it sorta makes sense.
Don Bowman is still all tensed up and Joi tells Ferlin to sing him a song since that always relaxes him. Surprisingly, even though they are in the middle of nowhere, the sounds of Ferlin's singing carries to the neighbors who show up with their own guitars. The neighbors are played by Sonny James and The Country Gentlemen who tell the trio the house is haunted. Sonny and his band are encouraged to play a couple of songs.... and what the hell...they got their guitars they might as well. After playing their songs, some spooky going-ons occur and Sonny and his band flee the premises. Joi convinces Ferlin and Don that it was some type of mass hypnosis that made them all think they saw supernatural things and the trio decide to stay in the mansion for the rest of the night.
We seem to be missing part of the plot, since the movie next jumps to a scene in the basement, where we see an Oriental Spy played by Linda Ho, but we'll get back to her later. Upstairs Joi has found that one room in the mansion is completely decorated. There are lots of nice clothes in the room and Joi imagines she's a Southern Belle back in olden times. The movie cuts to a fantasy sequence as Joi is dressed differently and she sings a song (see video at end of this review). The clothes she wears in this fantasy scene look more like they're from the 1950s instead of the 1850s, but it Joi's fantasy and I think she has a right to dress in whatever she wants to imagine.
Now back to the basement where we find Linda Ho arguing with Lon Chaney Jr. about letting his gorilla get loose. Not only is Linda not happy with this, but the other two spies played by Basil Rathbone and John Carradine are a little pissy about it also. It seems Lon for some odd reason (none is given in the movie) really likes the big ape. The credits state that George Barrows played Anatole the Gorilla, so this guy must have had a good agent to get him a credit when he was always dressed in a gorilla costume....oops!, I hope I didnt give anything away and you thought this was a real gorilla.
Back upstairs, the trio is trying to get some sleep, but Don is restless and decides to watch TV.......NOW! we understand why they were traveling with a TV (it was needed for the plot)....Don tunes into a Country Music Show (hey it's The South, we run Country Music Shows 24/7) and catches Merle Haggard singing. I had something of an out of body experience as I watched Don's TV on my TV...hoping no one was watching me on TV watching Don's TV on my TV! When Jim Kent (someone I can find nothing about) starts singing, we find that he's obviously not much of a star and certainly not as big a star as Merle, since his performance keeps getting broken up with the spies in the basement watching Don and Don watching them on his TV. DANG! I just thought about it, I was watching them on my TV watching each other on their TV.....this is getting out of hand!
Next up is one of my favorite parts of the movie, Lon is leaving the spies basement lair to go to the missile base to pick up a secret formula. When he leaves, it's through a door that comes out in an old graveyard. He locks the door behind him and hides the key on the ledge above the door. LOVE IT...a secret lair full of spies and they still hide their door key like everyone else.
At the missile base Lon runs into a janitor, who tells Lon that all janitors have top secret clearance since they're in and out of rooms all of the time. The janitor thinks Lon is one of the government men working late and opens a door for him (see why you shouldn't give janitors top secret clearance). Inside the room Lon meets his contact and is given the formula, but before he leaves he shoots the traitor, saying "Anyone that would betray his country would betray us". Little does he know that this traitor has given him a fake formula and is actually an undercover agent for MOTHER (Master Organization To Halt Enemy Resistance) .....Yes, for some reason, someone decided to throw in an acronym three quarters of the way into the movie.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Joi has been kidnapped by the gorilla. Ferlin and Don are looking for her when an agent from MOTHER arrives and wants to ask them some questions. Ferlin tells him "We don't have time to answer questions, our Girl Singer is missing". Shows you how important Girl Singers were to Country Acts back in the 1960s! The agent finally gets them calmed down and has Ferlin prove they're entertainers by playing a couple of chords on his guitar..I'm not sure what this proves, since I could probably play a couple of chords on a guitar and I'm CERTAINLY not an entertainer. However, this method seems to satisfy the MOTHER agent.
It seems the spies have captured Joi, since they think Ferlin, Don, and Joi are counter spies working for MOTHER. This gives you some indication of the level of the spies, if they think this wacky trio are super agents. Anyway, the spies put Joi in an Iron Maiden (of course, now I've got a metal riff running through my head, while I'm trying to watch country artists) as they try to make their escape. In the meantime, upstairs the real ghost, General Beauregard has made an appearance wanting everyone to leave.
Now back downstairs where the MOTHER agent sees the spies hiding the key and is able to get into the secret lair (I KNEW it would have been better if they kept that key with them, instead of always hiding it). After releasing Joi, one spy gets shot, another spy tries to shoot the ghost and when they run out of ammo, Ferlin and Don capture the spy. The last spy is rounded up and everything is cool and the next thing we see is Ferlin, Don, and Joi back in the car once again singing and on their way to Nashville. This made me a little nervous because Ferlin would tilt his head back while singing and this appeared that it would be as dangerous as texting and driving.
Thankfully, they make it to Nashville and the Country Jamboree. We get performances from Marcella Wright (who I can find no evidence of actually being a country singer, plus her cowboy hat looks funny on her head), Merle Haggard, Molly Bee, Don Bowman, Joi Lansing, and Ferlin Huskey bringing us to the end of the movie.
All in all, I had a great time, had a few chuckles, heard some good country tunes, got to see Lon Chaney Jr., Basil Rathbone, and John Carradine (three favorites from my youth, plus glad to know they picked up quick paychecks for basically playing themselves). Too bad I never saw this one at a Drive-In Theater because Hillbillys In A Haunted House just screams out to me that a drive-in would have been the perfect place to see it...but at least my windows aren't steamed up :-)
