THE HIRE - BEAT THE DEVIL & STAR

 

The Hire was a series of short films (around 10 minutes each) that BMW released on the internet in 2001 and 2002 for promotion of their autos. Each film was helmed by a famous director and each film starred different people with one exception: Clive Owen was "The Driver" in all the films. They later released the films on a dvd which was available for a short time at some dealerships. While all 8 films are well worth watching two of the films feature musicians.

Beat The Devil was directed by Tony Scott and stars James Brown. James has hired The Driver to take him to Las Vegas, so he can renegotiate a deal he made with The Devil (Gary Oldman). It seems James made a deal with The Devil for fame and fortune, but now that he has gotten old and can't do splits anymore, he doesn't think the deal is fair. James bets his driver's soul in a race against The Devil and his henchman (Danny Trejo). James Brown and Gary Oldman are both hilarious in this short film. There's a surprise appearance by another musician at the end of the film. (Beat The Devil is available on youtube). I get a real kick out of Beat The Devil no matter how many times I watch it.

Star was directed by Guy Ritchie and stars Madonna as the bitchiest star imaginable. Unbeknownst to Madonna, her manager has hired The Driver to give her the ride of her lifetime, tossing her all about the car and unceremoniously dumping her onto the sidewalk at the end. This short film is also hilarious and just like Beat The Devil, I can't help laughing out loud each time I watch it. (Star is also available on youtube).

SKI PARTY

Ski Party is the beach party entry into the "Some Like It Hot" category, since Frankie Avalon and Dwayne Hickman spend a good part of the film in drag. Frankie and Dwayne are college buddies who are losers with their gals (Deborah Walley and Yvonne Craig). Speaking of gals, Annette has a cameo as a professor at the school. Were Frankie and Dwayne so dumb that by the time they made it to college, Annette had already graduated and became a professor? Anyway, watch for a pretty good gag with Annette in the film... Back to the story...when Frankie & Dwayne hear there's going to be a ski trip sponsored by the school's playboy, they decide to tag along and see if they can change their luck. On the trip up, Lesley Gore is on the bus and sings the infectious "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" and everyone else on the bus joins in on the chorus.

Once at the ski lodge, which just happens to have a heated pool, all the girls get into their bikinis, and Frankie sings  a nice upbeat song "Lots, Lots More" as he lies on the diving board. Frankie doesn't fare as well on his other number, which also includes Hickman, Walley and Craig, entitled "Paintin' the Town", which is just a terrible song and doesn't match up to the quality of any of the other songs in the film. Later, Walley and Craig sing "We'll Never Change Them," which almost sounds like a song left off an old Ronnettes album. It was actually previously titled "I'll Never Change Him" and sung by Annette in the initial release of Beach Blanket Bingo, but the song was cut from all home movie releases.

And now we come to the THE BEST REASON to watch Ski Party... James Brown. James has a comedic skit as a ski ranger and then sings "I Got You" with The Flames as his backup dancers. At the end of the song, he dances out the door and does a split as his finale. This is the highlight of the movie and you really owe it to yourself to check it out. If you don't won't to watch the whole film for his performance, it's on youtube just google "james brown ski party". A bit of trivia I gleaned from imdb "James Brown said out of all the times he did splits, the only time he ever ripped his pants was in this movie."

At the end of the film, the gang winds up back at the beach where The Hondells (who also sing the title song of the movie, but do not perform it in the film) are hanging out on the beach singing "The Gasser", a pretty decent surf/hot rod song.  Of course, this gives the filmmakers another chance to have girls dancing in bikinis. At the end of Ski Party there's a note to stay on the lookout for the next film in the series "Cruise Party", a film that was never made, since "the beach party series" had pretty much run its course by 1965/66.

BLOOD of DRACULA

Blood of Dracula is another film in the AIP line of teen horror pictures. I find it strange that they didn't include the word "teenage" in the title as they did with I Was A Teenage Werewolf and I Was A Teenage Frankenstein. I would think it would have been natural in this group of movies to call this film "I Was A Teenage Vampire". Blood of Dracula has the same theme as I Was A Teenage Werewolf - a teen with troubles is turned into a monster to satisfy an experiment by an adult who thinks they are going to save mankind. An underlying message in both of these movies, while not overt, but understood, is "Don't Trust Adults".

Blood of Dracula, like How To Make A Monster, includes only one song performance. This time with Jerry Blaine who sings "Puppy Love", which he also wrote.  Blaine previously had written "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo" for the song performance in I Was A Teenage Werewolf; although he didn't have a part in that film, instead that song was performed by Ken Miller. And when I say performances, it's interesting to note that both of these songs are accompanied by a dance number. Of the two songs, I prefered "Puppy Love" with it's cute lyrics and Blaine really looked like he was enjoying the song and his performance added a lot to my own enjoyment. Sadly, these two songs and one acting appearance appear to be the complete resume of Jerry Blaine in films. Too bad, because he definitely had both talent in songwriting and acting.

At the first of Blood of Dracula, the movie appeared it was going to carry a very feminist message, which would have been a surprise for a late 50s cheapo film. The female teacher/scientist states her thesis keeps getting rejected because academia is ruled by men and they won't accept the findings of a female researcher. It's this drive to prove them wrong that compels her to experiment on the teen. Ultimately, the message (which I guess could be construed as feminist) in Blood of Dracula is a woman can be just as crazy as a man.

BATMAN The DEVIL'S FINGERS & The DEAD RINGERS

 
Chandell aka Fingers (Liberace) and his twin brother Harry (Liberace) are both criminals. Chandell is also a famous pianist. When Chandell hurts his hands and uses a player piano in a concert at The White House his brother finds out and blackmails him. Chandell comes up with a plan to kill Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson and then marry Aunt Harriet and use her money to pay off Harry, after which Chandell decides he will have enough money to go straight.

 

These two episodes of Batman (The Devil's Fingers and The Dead Ringers) were the highest rated out of all the tv episodes of Batman. The name Chandell was used as a play on Liberace's famous chandeliers. Liberace supplied his own costumes plus provided his own grand piano for filming of the episodes. Instead of having three henchmen, Chandell had three henchwomen - Doe, Rae, and Mimi. As you can see from the above photo Doe would be a pretty good double for Naomi Judd.

I really enjoyed both these episodes and Liberace was a real hoot as the villain, but what I enjoyed most was Liberace's portrayal of Harry, the twin brother. During these scenes, Liberace tried to talk tough like he was in an old gangster movie and the results were quite amusing. They can make all the Batman movies they want, and regardless of how good they are, the TV series, with episodes like these, will always be tops in my book.

FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER

After watching the very entertaining I Was A Teenage Werewolf, I thought I'd watch another in the teen monster canon. Unfortunately, I can't think of the last time I saw such a terrible movie as Frankenstein's Daughter. I mean, it's not even bad in a good way, it's just BAD! The direction is wooden and the plot only makes sense if you don't think about it.

It seems Dr. Frankenstein's grandson is now going by the name Dr. Frank and is mixing some type of elixir that makes a woman's face go ugly (see above photo) after she drinks it. After she ingests the tonic the young lady wanders around town scaring people. What this elixir has to do with creating a living being was never clear to me. Once Dr. Frank gets a fresh body from a very attractive teen, he grafts her head onto his creation and brings it to life. Surprise, the monster is also very ugly (see poster above). Maybe, there's some type of misogynistic message being passed on here, but I really don't think so, and if it was, I'm sure it was subconscious.

 
There are a couple of songs in Frankenstein's Daughter, which I assume were placed in the movie to appeal to teens; but they're pretty tepid as rock and roll songs and fall more into the pop category. At a small back yard party, The Page Cavanaugh Trio do "Special Date" on which they are joined by Harold Lloyd, Jr. (yes, son of Harold Lloyd). Harold Jr. then has a solo and does a good job on a novelty tune entitled "Daddy Bird". Harold Jr. has a very interesting singing style, always staying hunched forward while he's singing.  To my surprise, John Ashley, who sings in a lot of these teen movies, doesn't have a tune in Frankenstein's Daughter. 

TOMMY

Tommy is probably the best known rock opera since it has been an album, a movie, and a stage play.  The term "Rock Opera" grates on me, I think Rock is Rock and Opera is Opera and the twain should never meet. To me, trying to make rock into opera is a sign you're ashamed of rock and want to do"legitimate music". 

Tommy (as an opera should be) is entirely sung. That would have all been well and good IF the songs were good, but unfortunately "Tommy", "Pinball Wizard", and "I'm Free" are the only three songs that worked for me....and yes that includes "Acid Queen" by Tina Turner and I'm a big fan of Tina's.

Since I have an aversion to "rock operas", plus Pete Townshend grates on me (I think it's his self-importance that is off-putting), I should have steered clear of Tommy. However, I had fond memories of seeing Tommy on the big screen when it was originally released, and I even saw a stage production in Atlanta many years later. The best thing I could have done was to have left Tommy in my memory banks and went on with my life.  I found either my tastes have changed or the movie really wasn't very good to begin with. Either way, it was a slough to get through this film. The next time I want to watch something with "Tommy" in the title, I'll choose Tommy Boy.

HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER

How To Make A Monster is a follow up to I Was A Teenage Werewolf and I Was A Teenage Frankenstein. Oddly, the film is in black and white until near the end which is in color. This was an American International Picture set at the fictional American International Studios. The plot revolves around a master make-up artist who is being terminated because the studio has decided monsters are out and comedies and musicals are what the audience wants. The make-up artist gets his revenge by sending "his" monsters to kill the studio executives. 

 
The studio executives take the make-up artist to see one of their scenes from an upcoming film. Turns out it's John Ashley (I swear, I've seen this man in movies from the 50s to the 70s and he never seems to age), who is a pretty good singer. He performs "You Gotta Have Ee-Ooo", which sounds like a song right off an Elvis movie soundtrack.

While there wasn't a lot of music in the movie, How To Make A Monster turned out to be a pretty decent flick. The story was pretty good and the make-up artist, Robert H. Harris, who is mainly known as a character actor, really did a good job of slowly becoming more and more psychotic as the movie progressed. I'm sure it was cheap to make, since AIP was basically recycling their monsters from the previous two movies and could use their own studio for sets, but, Hey! Warner Brothers did it with their monsters so there's no reason cheapo studio AIP shouldn't have done it also.